Twenty Thousand Roads Chapter Seven: Come On Get Higher

Note: This chapter contains graphic sexual content. 

Eugi's
Present Day 

Branna

"Okay, it's official. I hate Daisy Buchanan." I declared as Ciaran and I leaned against the bar with our drinks.  We had just gotten there after going to see "The Great Gatsby," and I was still steaming mad.  "Ridiculous vapid bitch."

Ciaran grinned. "You don't need to be so cryptic, angel." 

"I'm serious! She let him take the blame! She's why he's dead!" 

"Well in the strictest definition, he's dead because he got shot, but I see your point," he replied, reaching over and rubbing the small of my back.  I leaned into his touch, feeling like I couldn't get enough.

It had been two weeks since our first date. We had seen each other several times since then, but they had been shorter because Ciaran was wrapping up the school year and had to prepare final exams and grade papers before he was off for the summer.  It was probably just as well, considering we almost fucked like drunk bunnies that first night until Ciaran had put on the brakes. 

It confused me at the time, because it was apparent that we were both in the same frame of mind in terms of being physically attracted to one another, but the more I thought about it, the more I appreciated his consideration. It did make me feel special.  

This night, however, was different. He had finished the school year that afternoon and was off for the summer break. We weren't on a tight schedule, so even though neither one of us had said it out loud, chances were this was going to be the night.

 

"At the risk of sounding altogether too eager, I should tell you that Finn won't be coming home tonight."  I smiled and wound my arms around his neck. "And where will he be?" His hands clasped my waist as he pressed his body against mine. "One of his myriad paramours is in town so he's meeting her at her hotel." 

"You mean booty calls, don't you?"

"Technically, but he prefers 'paramour,' and I let him call it whatever he wants." He kissed the tip of my nose. "But basically it means that if you'd like to come back to my flat, we'd be alone. Not that I'm making any presumptions."

I pressed my pelvic area against his for a quick second before leaning in and subtly licking his earlobe. His grip tightened on my waist and he sucked in his breath. He had sensitive ears, I learned that our first date. "You can presume whatever you like, it's all likely to happen anyway," I purred, giving him a wink.

"Branna?"

Ciaran and I sprang apart as I saw my ex Bronson watching us. He had broken up with me about a week before Ciaran and I met, citing that continuing our relationship was pointless because he knew I'd never feel about him the way he did about me.  He'd been right about that, but at the time, my ego smarted.  

Ciaran looked from Bronson to me and said quietly, "An ex?" I nodded. "Yeah. He ended things right before I met you. He's a good guy, though. I'll introduce you."

 

"Bronson!" I said as he gave me a quick hug. "How are you?"  "Not bad, just meeting some people but I think I'm a little early. You look fantastic, seriously," he said, looking at me with his natural puppy-dog eyes. "I think something, or more precisely someone, agrees with you."  

I chuckled at how well he knew me. "Come meet him."

I don't know why I was initially nervous introducing them. Ciaran was very friendly and Bronson could usually pry conversation out of the most taciturn of people, probably because he was a social worker, he had to make a living talking to people from all walks of life.  They got along fine, and we were all having a good time talking when the bar owner approached me and asked if he could talk about setting up a gig for the band.  

"You guys gonna be okay for a few?" I asked before going to the owner's office.

"Go ahead, angel. We're fine." Ciaran replied, trailing a finger down my cheek. 

Ciaran

Branna had briefly mentioned having dated someone shortly before meeting me, but she never really went into detail and I didn't pry.  Now here he was. He was pretty much the polar opposite of me appearance-wise, the only commonality we had was long hair. 

We stood awkwardly for a minute, then I cleared my throat. "So, how long did you guys date, if you don't mind my asking?"

"A couple of months. I met her after one of their gigs here. She kind of hypnotized me on stage."

I had to chuckle. The same thing had happened to me the first time I saw her play. "Yeah, she does have that capability. I guess it's just seeing the passion she has for the music. Um...look, why did things end? She never really said other than it didn't work out and I didn't want to push her."

Bronson studied me for a moment, obviously trying to see if he was walking into some kind of a trap. Finally, he spoke. "I broke up with her. I liked her a lot, but I knew she didn't feel the same way about me. I mean, don't get me wrong, she never led me on or anything. I guess she was just trying to convince herself that she could like me that way? But I knew better."

"I know this will probably make me sound like a complete creeper, but I was watching you guys when I came in," he continued. "And I will tell you one thing: she never once looked at me like she was looking at you. So, I don't really know you or your 'intentions'," he said, making quote fingers, "but if you're looking for something with her, she's probably receptive to it."  I tilted my head at him somewhat dubiously. "You caught all that from watching us interact for a few seconds?"

He shrugged. "Reading people's non-verbal cues is part of my job. And like I said, I tried for almost three months to get Branna to look at me like she was at you. So, all I can say is you're a lucky man. She's pretty incredible."

"Well, I'd say that's something we can both agree on, Bronson."

 

Branna came back up to us at that point. "Did I miss anything important?" she asked, looking at both of us a little nervously.

 

Then I don't really know what came over me, but I put my arm over her shoulder and pulled her close to me. I don't usually act possessive like that. "Just talking about a beautiful woman we know."  

"Good things, I hope."

"Naturally," Bronson replied. He looked towards the door. "Oh, my friends are here." He leaned over and gave Branna a chaste peck on the cheek. "Branna, it was good to see you, and nice to meet you, Ciaran." 

 "Likewise," I told him.  He went over to meet his friends and I turned to Branna. "Would you like to get out of here, angel?" 

"I thought you'd never ask," she said with a knowing grin. 

Branna

Initially, I was scared shitless when the bar owner asked to speak to me. I had no idea what I would come back to. I mean granted, Bronson and I hadn't parted on bad terms, but still. Maybe he'd let resentment build? I didn't know.

But my worries were for nothing. Ciaran was even more affectionate when I rejoined them, like he'd been told something that gave him reassurance. 

The apartment he shared with Finn was a fair bit smaller than the one I had with Ricky and Sean, but it was beautiful nonetheless, and it had a fireplace, something I loved from my childhood home. I immediately ran to one of the huge windows to look out at the lights. "This view is incredible!"

Ciaran stood behind me grinning. "You act like you've never seen a city view before. The one from your place is even better than this one" I turned and stuck my tongue out at him. "I like different perspectives, okay? It's my right."

 
He walked up to me confidently at that point and turned me around. "I think I'm enjoying the view in here even more," he said softly, his lips crashing into mine.  I opened my mouth to accept his tongue, feeling jolts of sexual electricity starting to surge through my body and the wetness building between my legs.  God, what he did to me from just one single kiss. "Shall we move this to the sofa?" he asked, his tongue dragging along my bottom lip. I nodded, breathless. 

I miss the sound of your voice
And I miss the rush of your skin
And I miss the still of the silence
As you breathe out and I breathe in

If I could walk on water
If I could tell you what's next
I'd make you believe
I'd make you forget

I waited on the sofa while Ciaran lit the fireplace and turned down the lights. "I know it's summer, but I like the lighting that a fireplace provides," Ciaran said, sitting next to me and sliding an arm around my shoulder. "It's cool, I grew up with a fireplace. They make me happy."

"You make me happy," he whispered, leaning in to kiss me. He sucked my bottom lip gently into his mouth and explored it with his tongue. I opened my mouth wider to take his tongue in and it seemed our tongues dueled with one another, sweeping inside each others mouths. Mine gently brushed over his fangs and the slight pain at their sharpness made me get even wetter. 

He drew his hand over my stomach and pulled me closer, pinning me to his body. I rolled over until I was on top of him, my legs between his.

So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

Our pelvises ground together as his hand came around to cup my ass. He squeezed hard, and I gasped into his mouth. "Ciaran," I moaned, rubbing myself against his growing erection, "Please let it be tonight. I want you so bad."

His response was to reach up my skirt and quickly pull off my rapidly getting soaked panties. Kissing me all the while, he slipped a finger inside me and I nearly shattered in a million pieces right there. He massaged my swollen clit for a moment and then pulled his finger out, glistening with my wetness.

"Yeah, I'd have to say you do. It's more than mutual, by the way."  With a growl, I yanked his shirt over his head. He did the same with mine and we seemed almost possessed with a savage need as our clothes went flying all over the room, our lips almost never parting the entire time.  I ran my hands over his bare chest and realized that his tattoo, which I'd only seen glimpses of, actually went down his entire left side and ended a little above his knee.

When we were both completely naked, he pulled away for a second. "We can go into my bedroom if you want, angel," he said, weaving his fingers through my hair.  I was so wet, so ready for him, that I really didn't think I'd even be able to walk the ten feet to his bedroom.

Instead, I slid off the sofa and lay down on the rug in front of the fireplace. I stretched out seductively, making sure he could get a good view of all of me.  "Do you approve, Mr. Farrell?"

He knelt down next to me. His hard cock stuck out straight in front of him, and it was more than impressive to look at.

"I more than approve," he said softly. "You are so incredibly beautiful. Your skin, under this light...you really do look like an angel." His hands reached for me and I pulled him down onto my body, wanting nothing more than him.

I miss the sound of your voice
Loudest thing in my head
And I ache to remember
All the violent, sweet
Perfect words that you said
If I could walk on water
If I could tell you what's next
I'd make you believe
I'd make you forget

 Ciaran

She was flawless. Completely and utterly without a flaw. Her body was toned but still curvy, the pale white skin glowing under the firelight.  Her breasts were the perfect size and they jutted out perfectly from her chest, her nipples hardening under my gaze.  I leaned forward and kissed her neck, letting my lips and tongue glide over the silky skin as I licked and nibbled her neck and jawline, first softly, then harder as I began to hear her respond with moans and sighs.

I moved down further, my hands curving around her breasts as I teased her nipples with my tongue, first the left, then the right.  She moaned and threw her head back. "Jesus fuck Ciaran, that feels incredible. Bite them." I looked up at her. "Bite them?"  She laughed. "Not hard, I'm not a masochist. Just a little bit. I'll tell you if it's too much." I got what she meant and gently took her left nipple between my front teeth and applied a light pressure, pulling slightly. "That's it," she sighed, as I pinched and rolled her other nipple between my thumb and forefinger. "Oh fuck, that's getting me so wet, baby." 

I looked down and saw the wetness starting to seep out of her. Playing with her beautiful breasts was well and good, but once I saw that I knew I had to taste her. 
Grabbing her around the waist, I lifted her over to the chair next to the fireplace and gently spread her legs, draping each one over the arms of the chair.

She let out a yelp followed by a deep moan as my tongue brushed over her hardened clit, running her hand through my hair.  "Oh my God, oh my God," was all she seemed to be able to say as my tongue moved over her soft folds in an increasing frenzy, eagerly lapping up her juices as fast as they ran out of her.  She tasted as sweet as I thought she would.

Gently, I slid my index finger inside her as I licked her clit. She responded by squeezing her muscles down around me hard, bucking her hips against my mouth as I thrust the finger in and out of her. I drew my tongue in gentle circles around her clit and then sucked it hard between my lips as I slipped my middle finger inside her as well. 

She gasped and jerked her hips upwards.  I pulled them back down so I could finish what I started. With the two fingers I had inside her, I felt around until I found the sweet spot I was looking for and pressed down on it, rubbing it firmly as I continued to lick and suck on her clit. 

  "Oh fuck, oh fuck...what are you doing to me..." she moaned as I kept up the pressure with my fingers and mouth.  Her hands gripped the arms of the chair and I could feel her muscles squeezing down on my fingers harder and faster and I knew she was getting close to a climax.  

Suddenly her body went rigid and she screamed, "I'm coming, oh fuck, I'm coming," followed by a loud keening wail as her hips thrashed back and forth as if they had a life of their own.  It was, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the most erotic thing I'd ever seen. 

I let her come down gradually, lightening the pressure of my lips and tongue until she gently pushed my head away.  Her head lolled back on the chair as she tried to catch her breath. "Jesus Christ, what the hell was that?" I lifted my head but continued to caress her thighs. "I take it no one has ever found your G-spot before?"

She smiled and ran a finger over my lips. "I don't know that anyone has ever thought to look." I kissed her fingertips. "Pity. That was quite a sight."

So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

That was an understatement. Watching her had gotten me so excited I wasn't sure I could last much longer, but that didn't stop Branna as she stood from the chair, pulled me up and pushed me over onto the sofa, kneeling between my legs. "What's that phrase? One good turn deserves another?" she purred.  She wrapped her hand around my shaft and and slid it down to the base. She ran her tongue from her hand all the way up my length and then took just the head into her mouth, sucking gently as she ran her tongue in circles around the tip.

I moaned. "Oh fuck, Branna, oh fuck..."  I fisted her hair in my hand as she moved her head rhythmically up and down my full length, stopping occasionally to swirl her tongue around the head as her hand continued to move up and down.  She reached down with her other hand and gently cupped my balls as she licked and sucked me. 

"Branna you keep that up I'm not sure I can last much longer," I said breathlessly. She pulled her head back and released suction with a gentle pop as she continued to squeeze me rhythmically with her hand. "What, you can only get it up once a night? I strongly doubt that."

She had me there. "Good point. Carry on, then."  She smirked and ran her tongue around the head before sucking my shaft back into her mouth again.  I moaned as she kept it up harder and faster, pulling my cock out of her mouth occasionally to lick and nibble the head. 

I knew I was getting closer and closer to coming, and I grabbed her head and gently guided it up and down. She wrapped one hand around the base of my cock so I didn't gag her.  "I'm getting closer...you can stop if you don't want to..." She raised her beautiful blue eyes to me and winked, indicating it was okay.

"Angel, I...I...oh FUCK!!!!!!" I yelled as I exploded in her mouth. She kept her lips moving as she took everything I gave her until I finally fell back, completely spent. 

I miss the pull of your heart
I taste the sparks on your tongue
I see angels and devils
And God, when you come on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on

When I could finally think coherently, I wove my fingers through her hair and cradled her head against my chest. I kissed the top of her head as I spoke. "That was amazing...just..incredible." She chuckled. "At a loss for superlatives?" she asked playfully. "Pretty much," I replied, inhaling the orange blossom scent of her hair. 

We stayed that way for what seemed like ages, until our gentle kisses once again grew deeper and more frenzied and I could feel my cock stiffening all over again. Branna wrapped her hand around it and pulled me towards the floor.

"I want you inside me. Now."

She only had to ask once.

 

 Branna

In one swift movement, he thrust himself deep inside me. He grew still for a moment, closing his eyes and smiling, as if it was something he hadn't felt in a long time.  I had never asked him how long it had been for him, actually.  I wrapped my legs around him as he began to move in slow, steady strokes.  He filled me completely and he felt so incredibly good inside me. 

 "Oh fuck, that feels so fucking good," I moaned as I began to match the rhythm his hips were making with his thrusts. I squeezed my muscles down around his cock and the friction made me ache inside.  He lowered his head and licked my nipples, taking one into his mouth and sucking it hard before nipping it lightly with his teeth, sending a jolt of electricity straight to my clit. 

"More?" he asked me. All I could do was nod.  He repeated the action on the other nipple while keeping up with his steady thrusts and all I could do was babble nonsense, squeezing my eyes shut.

"Open your eyes, angel," he said firmly. "I want your eyes open...I want you to watch what I do to you, what you do to me..."  My eyes flew open and I was rewarded with his sexy smile. "Much better..."

He spread my legs apart then and rose up on his knees, looking straight down at me as he intensified his thrusts. "You're so wet, Branna...you like what this is doing to you?"  "I love it...oh fuck, I love it."  He licked his first two fingers and began massaging my clit. 

My head almost seemed to involuntarily thrash from side to side as I felt another orgasm starting to build. Ciaran seemed to sense it too, and stroked my clit with an even harder intensity. I matched him thrust for thrust as I squeezed my muscles around his shaft. Then I felt the orgasm hit me like a freight train as I wailed and moaned.  "That's it, my beautiful angel, that's it..." he murmured softly as I came around him. I drew a shaky breath at the feel of him moving in circles inside me, not pulling in or out, just going around and around while I came down from the orgasmic high.

 He pulled me up so we were face to face then, cupping my ass in his hands as we ground against one another. "Tell me how this feels, angel..."   "Amazing..." And it did. The position allowed him to penetrate me even deeper, so deep I could almost feel him bumping against my cervix, causing powerful jolts of pleasure mixed with slight pain.

He gazed up at me with his glowing hazel eyes. "You're so beautiful," he whispered. "So are you," I told him in response. He gave me a crooked smile. "Not like you, angel. Not at all like you. I can't believe how lucky I am to have found you..."

"You know how to say all the right things..." I joked. He grabbed my chin and held it firmly as he pierced me with his stare. "Branna, I never say things I don't mean...I mean every word I'm telling you. Every word."  I took his face in my hands and kissed him hard, hoping to pour all my unspoken feelings into them. I wasn't as eloquent as he was. 

 

 Ciaran

I adjusted our position so she was sitting astride me. I wanted to see her above me, her breasts hovering over me, as she moved up and down on my cock, grinding her clit against me, hopefully driving her to another orgasm. I knew I was getting close myself.

She rode me hard, throwing her head back, her beautiful red streaked mane cascading down her back as she moaned. Then her hips moved in circles as she pinched my nipples, making me gasp. "Ah, I see you like it too...excellent." 

A teasing grin came over her face and she raised herself up, high enough that only the head of my cock was still inside her, and then she rapid fire pumped her hips up and down. The sensation, the slow torture of it was indescribable. She did this several times before returning to a more steady rhythm. It had served its purpose.  For a while all that existed was the slowly building pressure, the aching need, the yearning toward completion, for both of us.

Finally, the dam broke. "Fuck, Ciaran! I'm coming again! Oh God! Fuck!" Her muscles again clasped my cock frantically and it was too much for me and I came as well, saying nothing but her sweet name over and over as I spilled my seed deep inside her.  

We were silent for a moment, and then with a soft whimper she collapsed on top of me.

We lay there watching the fire, holding on to one another as we came down from the post-orgasm haze. "That was..." I started to say when she interrupted. "Earth-shattering? Mind-blowing?" I laughed and pulled her closer. "All of the above, angel. All of the above."

"Ciaran, if you don't mind my asking, how long has it been for you?"

"Truthfully? Three years." She lifted her head from my chest, her eyes wide with surprise. "Seriously? But you're really hot...I mean, there had to have been opportunity..."  I traced my fingers along the planes of her face. "There was, but I was waiting for someone special to me. I found her."

She smiled almost shyly. "I hope I was worth the wait."

I pulled her closer. "More than you know, angel," I whispered. "More than you know."

It's all wrong, it's all wrong
It's all wrong, it's so right
So come on, get higher
So come on and get higher
'Cause everything works, love
Everything works in your arms. 

Song: " Come On Get Higher" by Matt Nathanson

 

 

 

 

Chapter One: An American Girl

Bridgeport
Present Day
Branna Kavanagh


Well she was an American Girl
Raised on promises
She couldn't help thinkin'
That there was a little more to life somewhere else..

Another day, another dollar, as my Gran would put it. Although for me, at this point it was pretty much pennies. But I suppose that's what I get for wanting to make a career in music.  Still, I wasn't really complaining. I was just happy to have a job doing what I loved. Gran always told me that.  "Do what you love, and the money will follow."

It hadn't yet, but I tried to remember everything she told me. Stricken with Alzheimer's, she didn't really say much of consequence anymore. Most of the time she thought I was her sister Aileen, who died over sixty years ago.

After all it was a great big world
With lots of places to run to
And if she had to die tryin'
She had one little promise she was gonna keep...

As I showered, I thought rather guiltily about the fact that I didn't visit her as much as I used to. My parents got on me about it pretty regularly, but I just couldn't bring myself to go more than a couple times a month.  It's something I hated myself for, but couldn't seem to make myself change.

When I got out to the living room, my best friend Richard Hades was already out there, taking in the morning light for his painting. Richard, or Ricky as most everyone called him, had been my closest confidante since high school, when we had done an extremely low-rent school production of "Les Miserables." I was Eponine, he was Marius.  We used to joke that we bonded while I died in his arms. 

Ricky was an artist and sculptor, and a damn good one. He got regular gallery showing and was commissioned to do work all over Bridgeport.  He also wrote a monthly art and culture column for the Bridgeport Style Journal.  Between that and gigs that Under The Radar, our cover band played, he was kept plenty busy.

"Get into your workout gear, sweet cheeks. It's time for some training," I told him. He had told me a couple weeks before that he felt like he wasn't in as good of shape as he could be, and asked me to help train him. It was like pulling teeth.

He put down his paintbrush and sighed. "Isn't there a way I can become a perfect physical specimen and still remain a lazy pig?"

"Nice try, Tiny Dancer. Go get dressed."

"Come on, show me some fucking spirit, man! You're not gonna get any stronger if you don't put the work in! Now go faster!"

"So...help...me...Flaky...if I die...on this thing...I leave you....nothing...in my will."

Flaky is the nickname Ricky gave me years ago. He said the name Branna made him think of bran flakes. I suppose it could have been worse. He could have been calling me Muffin.

"It's a chance I'm willing to take. Now come on, let's see some energy, baby! You gotta eat lightning and crap thunder!"

My older brother Sean walked into the kitchen then, texting as he walked. "I just love your ways of motivating, Bran."

"Hey, I like to stick with what works. Look, he's moving faster already."

"I want to...crap thunder...goddammit." Ricky huffed.

Sean laughed and went to the fridge for a protein shake. Gross stuff, but he drank one every morning.

My brother Sean is an interesting study in contrasts. He definitely got the best of both our parents' traits and was quite sought after by all the ladies as we were growing up.  Sometimes girls pretended to be friends with me so they could get to him. After the first couple times that happened I pretty much stopped attempting to have many female friends.

So yes, the contrast thing. Sean is ridiculously good-looking, and a jock in every sense of the word. A lot of the guys he ran with in high school and college were the typical meathead type, but not him. Sean is intelligent, bookish, very sensitive, and probably the most caring and compassionate of all four of the Kavanagh kids.  He's the one who goes to see Gran twice a week and holds her hand and talks to her even though she doesn't recognize him.

Ricky and I teasingly call him "The Reluctant Casanova," because while women flock to him, he tended to act almost scared of them. Not that I blamed him, a lot of them could be incredibly aggressive.  He wanted to meet someone special, but it was hard to sift through the "Sex and the City" wannabes who tended to approach him.

This is pretty much how Sean spent most of his free time at home.

"So what's on your agenda after you're done flogging Rick?" he asked me, picking up the most recent George R.R. Martin novel.

"I have to run into work for a few hours to help set up for a concert and then I'm gonna meet Bronson at Eugi's." I replied. He looked up from his book and gave me a raised eyebrow.  "I don't know why you're dragging that out, Bran."

I raised my shoulders in a small shrug. I'd been dating Bronson Littler for a couple of months, and while I liked him well enough, I didn't like him as much as he did me and didn't picture it becoming anything long term. I had told both Sean and Ricky this one night after a few drinks.  "I plead guilty, okay? Mea culpa. He's a nice guy, and he's cool to hang out with."

Sean tilted his head and looked at me thoughtfully. "That's fine, but it's not so fine when he thinks there's the possibility of more and you've already mentally 'friend-zoned' the poor bastard."

The timer went off on the treadmill then, giving me merciful escape.

As I made my bed, I reflected on what Sean said. He was right, of course. I didn't think of Bronson as someone I wanted to spend my life with, but he was a good distraction.  He was cute, smart, and funny. He was a good kisser and considerate in bed.

Unfortunately he wasn't the one for me and I knew it.

I'd done a fair bit of dating over the years, but never really had anything serious. I guess I've always had the philosophy that I'd know it when I saw it.  I had yet to see it.

"Bye, Cameron." I gave the poster on the wall a small wave and headed off to work.

Oh yeah, all right
Take it easy baby
Make it last all night
She was an American girl

When I got home from work, I showered, and got ready to go out. Not that I was a gigantic primper. I learned early on the basic amount of makeup I had to wear in order to look presentable and thankfully had pretty manageable hair, so it usually didn't take me all that long.

Bronson was at Eugi's, right on time, as per usual. He greeted me with a hug, but he seemed a little preoccupied. I chatted him up a bit, talking about the day, training Ricky, any other minutiae I could come up with to fill the silence that was enveloping us.  When an old Prince song started playing on the jukebox, I asked him if he wanted to dance.

As we danced, he smiled, but it was an uncomfortable, tight smile. It was weird, because Bronson was usually very cheerful and upbeat. Now it all came off as really forced.

Finally, I grabbed his arm to stop him. "Bronson, what the hell is going on? You're acting like I have some kind of communicable disease or something."

He heaved a sigh reserved usually for the most world weary and bowed his head a little. "Branna, I guess I've just had a hard time coming up with exactly what to say...but...I don't think we're gonna work out. I think we should stop seeing each other."

It was kind of like karma had basically just told me to go fuck myself.  "You don't?" I asked him.  He reached over and took my hands in his. "Branna, I know you don't feel it. I guess for a while I thought maybe if we just spent enough time together, maybe you would eventually, but...I know that I'm not the one for you."

"Bronson, I'm really sorry," I told him. "When I say I think you're a fantastic guy, it's not a line of bullshit; I really do like spending time with you. But yeah, you're right. I don't feel it like you do. I'm sorry."  He smiled sadly, but he also looked a little relieved too. "It's okay, really. I like you, Branna. A lot. But when I'm with you I always get the feeling that you're wishing I were someone else, but I don't think you know who that is yet, just that it's not me."

We ended the night with a hug and a promise to remain friendly. I hoped he wanted to do that eventually, because I genuinely did like him as a person.

And for one desperate moment
There he crept back in her memory
God it's painful when something that's so close
Is still so far out of reach

"You're early," Ricky observed when I walked into the apartment. He was sitting at the counter, drinking a plasma juice.

I shook my head and looked at the wall. "Flaky, what's up?"

"Bronson dumped me," I informed him.  He sighed and went to put his juice box in the trash.

"Your empathy is touching, Ricky."

He turned from the compactor.  "Flaky, you weren't into the dude, he must have caught on. I'm sorry you feel bad honey, but it's not like you were grievously wronged here."  I sighed. "You're right, I know you're right."

"Dammit Ricky, why did you have to be gay? We're like, each others soulmates."

"Babydoll, I can't help the way the Creator made me," he said with a chuckle, "I guess we just end up platonic soulmates. You can still die in my arms if it comes to that, Eponine."

 

"Don't you fret, Monsieur Marius, I don't feel any pain..." I sang lightly, causing us both to chuckle.  "I know this is for the best, but yeah, I guess it's just the ego blow. I'm a delicate flower."  Now he laughed uproariously. "You, my sweet, are anything BUT a delicate flower. Now, let's hug it out and go to bed, because I must slumber, per se."

 "I love you, Flaky."  

"And I love you, Ricky. Never change."

Maybe he wasn't my Mr. Right, but at that point there wasn't a better man in my life than Ricky.

And that was cool.

Oh yeah, all right
Take it easy, baby
Make it last all night
She was an American girl

Song: "American Girl" by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

Note: Many thanks to the lovely Vuppiih for the use of Richard Hades!